Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse

Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse Episode 8

WE LAUNCHED!  Yes, we launched eight episodes ago, but join us for the first episode where Dev & Kyle have experienced that launch.  We've got a ton of fan mail, challenge, figure out when making fun of brain injuries became uncool, headlocks, wet hot dogs, Dev competes in today's spelling bee, and we determine the correct ratio of buzz to woody.  All this and more in the newest episode of Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse!
 
00:37 This is 8.0, don't tell me otherwise01:00 devnkylesta@gmail.com01:25 We launched!01:41 Dev & Kyle can't decide who is more interesting02:10 Dev doesn't like the sound of his own voice02:26 Listen to yourself be yourself03:24 If I mess up, keep going04:10 Every sitcom from 1971 to 1999 had an episode where someone hacked an answering machine04:45 Super Emotional(tm)05:20 Ohnosecond05:42 Oh, shit!06:10 The difference between Mothers07:30 Mama Dev, devnkylesta@gmail.com08:11 "The brakes don't work on this side!"09:00 You can be a shitty driver regardless of your gender09:20 a proverbial shitload09:35 legit fan mail and not solicited feedback10:15 Friend of the show, Rose10:30 Fans send us disturbing videos...10:45 Callback to episode 111:06 Dev had a slight reservation about the old man11:22 Old Man Apologist, Dev11:45 Defense of another is not defense of self12:00 Dev knows bird law12:25 https://youtu.be/qgd_V5WqLjg12:55 Bold of you to think Mrs. Kyle listens...13:25 Spoiler Alert to Episode 1 of D&K STA14:10 Right in the face14:38 Subdural hematoma15:05 the Ski Slope killer15:42 I'm Batman15:55 Before it was uncool to make fun of brain injuries16:25 Before March 2020, Dev was perfect16:50 On brand for Snickers17:00 Junior Seau RIP, 201217:35 1997 is before 2012???18:23 Drum roll, please18:42 I'll just do it myself19:13 Spoiler Alert: Home Alone 219:30 The cops are the real villians19:43 Did an old man damage these criminals?20:02 The Legend20:23 Bourbon Pour Favor20:35 Coming for you, Spanish20:46 Learn enough Mandarin to piss off listeners21:03 Hate Mail to devnkyle@gmail.com21:30 Bob, first repeat emailers21:55 An actual email address?  holy shit22:15 We got a whole team of people to help us, but not an email address...22:45 Perfectly normal, don't explain it23:10 I don't have email, only gmail23:45 what's email, Dad?24:10 The only kids with a house phone24:30 May I speak with your child, please?25:00 Sixteen year olds have it so great in 202225:45 Pre-school fortnite26:15 Take the day, Kyle26:35 All emails are made-up, Dev27:10 MCU is better than DSM27:40 This podcast is for people with ADD28:10 Opening segment28:54 Nathan's Hot Dogs Competitive Eating contest29:20 Joey Chestnut30:48 The world is shook31:08 Joey Chestnut vs Kobe is a rivalry for the ages31:42 Major League Eating32:15 The World Record is not set in 201232:30 Matt Stoney C-C-C-Combo-Breaker33:00 Soggy Fucking Buns33:45 Athletes, that's who34:20 Dev is an amateur eater34:33 Stand out stars in all sports35:01 Second story of an old man beating people senseless in this episode35:30 Ryan Express35:40 Warning for any kids coming for Dev & Kyle36:00 Total number of mound rushes36:15 Robin Ventura getting his ass kicked served as a chilling effect?36:40 Maybe there was a boost?36:55 Callback to Rose's email, she wears fewer socks37:14 Kyle is winning37:25 devnkyle@gmail.com37:45 The Great One38:41 Here's a real favorite39:07 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8XLgbkUE6439:30 Dev loves analogies41:00 "No award for 2nd place?  Not true"41:25 Dev's hyperbole catches up with him42:00 Big Bang Theory is way worse than Friends42:30 Dev is wrong.  We should add a laugh track to this show42:50 Dev is shook by Kyle's revelation43:33 The universe doesn't want Kyle to like Seinfeld44:10 Nobody laughs at this show44:50 For various definitions of WAY before45:11 The actual reason Dev likes Seinfeld46:00 Fuck you, John Google46:40 Shoulder pads in jackets are a no go47:20 Kyle can not hit it47:44 Joke Time48:30 Dev doesn't believe in the average Apocalypto49:15 Here's your homework:  49:40 The secret to good comedy50:00 You know who you are50:25 Spelling Bee appeals are fairly common51:30 The hook to this story52:25 Overcome the toughest of odds53:36 "Tonight's spelling word for Dev is"54:00 Dev wins tonight's spelling bee54:40 Three times a lady55:00 Knowing things is not important anymore55:30 Unable to discern knowledge from wisdom56:10 Dev was a sad boy Christmas morning....56:40 Here's the Toy Story Toy Story....57:54 Nearly identical movies, Toy Story & Tron58:20 Dev is a disappointed child, not a disappoinING child59:15 Ratio of Buzz to Woody wrong...59:45 Priceless1:00:25 Slow return to theaters1:01:05 Candy in your popcorn?1:01:40 Surprise Junior Mint1:02:30 The Very Best Prank1:03:30 With the consistency of an oyster...1:04:20 A post popped kernel1:05:30 You have to explain it1:06:08 Too embarrassed to explain coffee oysters...1:06:30 "Oh shit, we poked him!"1:07:40 "It's Blue dabu Pee what do I do, Blue?"1:09:00 Iced vs Hot Coffee, but we're out of time

Dev & Kyle Interview Sid

What the Hell?  A BONUS EPISODE?!?!?!  Dev & Kyle sneak in an episode on an off-week to interview their new friend Sid about all the parts of Crypto that you didn't know but were afraid to ask.  As well as being our first interview, this is also our first Patreon bonus!  This episode is the 1 hour abridged version, but there's nearly 40 more minutes of Sid & Dev & Kyle & tangents available by visiting our Patreon page and becoming a sustaining Apocalypto at patreon.com/devandkyle
 
00:00  Mr. Chase never gets old01:40  16 rings to rule them all02:10 Even when you squirt, they will knock03:00  patreon.com/devandkyle for the full unabridged version04:00 Apocalyptos are beautiful people04:46 If we're not funny this time, it is on purpose05:55 Sid, our brand new friend06:10 Specifically about Crypto, Sid is not a crazy person07:00 A nuanced take on crypto07:30 The very first interview show08:00 what is a blockchain08:46 Ol' Bob Cratchit was the first blockchain09:25 Dev is outvoted10:21 You don't have to use a blockchain for money10:44 "Whatever information you are transmitting is true and is accepted by everyone else participating in the network"11:30 Of course, no one on the internet would lie about their name11:45 Fungible - Kyle's favorite word12:25 For example, Dev & Kyle are Fungible...12:45 Слава Україні! Sláva Ukrayíni!13:08 Weird people out trading quid13:45 Low blow, monkey traders14:30 NFT Art is no more fucked up than real world art15:50 Keep it secret, keep it safe16:30 The internet age is infinite duplication17:00 The crypto age allows for a real definition of truth20:00 There is freedom of information and NOT freedom of truth21:00 Crypto onboarding is very difficult22:00 the iPhone was laughed out of the building23:00 a dumb phone with a big screen and no buttons23:50 A phone first life is not just achievable, it is normal to many24:50 Scams are real and are a problem25:16 Crypto is like a new language.  Knowledge of it unlocks opportunities26:46 Blockchain is the iphone, Ethereum is the AppStore28:00 LPT: Recessions come out of nowhere28:30 Bitcoin was the first and the most famous29:00 The breakthrough of 29:37 13,000 coins listed on coingecko.com30:00 Just by hanging out and not fucking up, people start to think of Bitcoin as having stability.  Stability brings value31:00 Bitcoin allows transfers of fixed data31:30 Ethereum and the EVM transfers lines of code inside the blockchain32:45 Middle-out, Dev32:55 You had the opportunity to keep a secret, Dev35:20 High chance you heard of Bitcoin first36:00 What is stopping any other currency from adding cool new ideas?  Nothing.  Have a cool idea37:45 You might disagree with Sid's opinion, but you'd be wrong39:00 My bank isn't in danger of disappearing.  Not everyone can say that39:20 True story where cryptocurrency was required40:30 Cross border payments are a real thing41:00 Currency fluctuations in 'real world' currencies are very real, too42:00 Unbanked population is 1.9 billion people42:30 A bank account is a good thing, but loans & other financial tools are step 242:50 The world is burning to death44:00 Why would I want the upstart technology to be just as bad?  I don't44:30 The old world model from....  200744:50 What is proof of work?45:10 Proof of Work is Proof of Math45:48 Proof of Work is the coal powered steam engine46:16 Proof of Steak46:35 When 999,999 children agree, we have Consensus of Minors.  They have chosen candy48:00 Big bag of money means I win49:00 The blockchain includes the popular vote50:00 Elon Musk Money50:40 Proof of Stake gives you access to veto but in public51:40 We did not get the episode out by then.  Sorry🙂54:10 The world's first $48 billion dollar Fungible Token54:50 The only reason you wouldn't do it is because it is a bad idea55:42 Attention:  We're at the new cool school56:00 Prove a normal amount of participation, not a maximum amount of participation56:50 You can't even buy a big bag of money57:30 But I bet they have fucking smartphones...58:00 Smart Contracts, the most powerful58:37 Kyle breaks his cardinal rule59:20 There is nothing so expensive in America as being poor59:50 Just grow a heart1:00:00 The fees don't have to go away as long as they become equal for everyone1:02:00 Everyone knows you know1:01:30 What the fuck is a Smart Contract, Sid?1:02:40 Dev's Basketball OnlyFans1:03:20 Both parties get satisfied, huh?1:04:45 A program inside the blockchain1:05:15 The money is in digital escrow1:06:15 You only need the Ethereum blockchain to be running to verify the Smart Contract1:07:35 Bitcoin has more value but Ethereum has more participants1:08:10 Bitcoin is digital gold and is as inconvenient as real gold to buy a sandwich1:09:20 I've seen the Grotto...01:10:00 Sid casually identifies with the Monopoly Man and all his hotels01:11:15 On the flipside, Kyle shows that people who don't own stuff might like NFTs, too1:12:05 Kyle totally lives here1:12:55 Dev & Kyle & Sid wants to burn down the DMV1:13:40 We're going to clean up the internet with NFTs1:14:20 You can go look in the trash and find the dick1:15:00 The JPGs aren't actually on the blockchain, the metadata is1:16:45 "Is your boy misbehavin' dot com"1:17:40 Kyle can't quit you, Sid1:18:10 devnkylesta@gmail.com1:19:09 Yeaaaaahhhhh

Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse - Episode 7

The episode that episode six was afraid of  (because episode seven eight nine).  We've been at this awhile, but Dev finds new ways to yell at Kyle!  Join us for an in-depth review of what cold pizza and cold sandwiches have in common, trash compactors, jokes at the expense of world dictators, Dev makes Kyle cross the line, nostalgia for very weird periods in time and ....  dinosaur buttholes?  You'll find out all that and more in EPISODE SEVEN!
00:26 We haven't got cancelled yet00:54 6.9 Episodes.  Nice01:29 Dad Flirt01:55 Dev discourages teens drinking *cold* bourbon03:00 Tinkle tinkle, clink clink03:11 Dev went to college03:30 The different between Generals and Michelin04:00 Discarding opinions04:22 Kyle doesn't care and Dev thinks that's wrong05:25 Oh fer nine or nine for nine06:13 Fuck cold pizza06:30 Not all cold pizza07:07 This was a pre-mix07:30 The show will continue despite Dev's objections07:55 Episode 21 preview08:31 Hot take inspires agreement08:42 Dev is mad at football coaches for not knowing math09:15 We're not cutting shit09:58 Kyle's Mom is an accepting woman10:22 The show finally starts10:35 Cold bourbon open10:55 There's no more exceptions to the cold sandwich rule11:50 If you're cutting carbs, you can't eat a burger12:05 Dev is caught off guard12:30 Bad news, this cookie dough ice cream shop is out of business13:06 Only $6?13:23 A bargain, just like this podcast!13:47 Dev's first public retraction of the show14:10 Fans but not friends14:38 Just love the show.  Please.  We're begging you14:50 Listener poll response16:05 We haven't developed the desire, but we have the technology16:33 Jack is Junk16:45 Kentucky Limestone Water17:10 Louisville bottle water is real17:52 Dev doesn't go to Costco18:10  No plug for mediocre service18:40 Personal sponsorship by Jeff Bezos19:10 Dick shaped spaceship19:35 Attention Billionaire Apocalyptos20:04 We can double team all ten of you20:18 For a hundred million though....20:55 Great idea, dude21:15 Into orbit, out of orbit, in and out21:25 Not Celebrity worship but celebrity osmosis22:04 Dev's excessive use of air quotes22:22 He's got a type22:45 Kyle wasn't going to cross this line23:05 There, Kyle said it23:15 When it is the truth, it is okay23:25 "Saran wrap on your face" is an "elegant stance"23:58 According to Disney experts, Kyle is no spring chicken24:10 Bonus Joke25:48 Why would you say that, Dev?26:10 Stalin for Time26:30 We take notes and don't use them26:50 Instructions for rescinding your sponsorship27:20 Push it, push it real good28:00 Mechanical contraptions28:49 My smashing proclivities leave me unable to entertain29:15 Trash compactors worked too well29:50 Unavailable at regular man pricing30:30 50-60lb puck31:30 Dev & Kyle discuss fake statistics32:00 6 + 5 is 11, that's close enough to 732:50 Just jamming it in there like you're churning butter33:40 Something not nasty and on top34:30 Our intimate connection with each other35:10 "Daddy, how do you spell texting?"36:06 Dev's got Twitter fingers36:25 Kyle saw an old flip phone in the wild36:41 Kyle loves gadgets37:15 Yearning for dumb phone days?37:38 Dev wants his pager back38:02 Dev's favorite fan-fic period drama period is 199738:55 Dev blames Gen X for the fact Kyle doesn't return phone calls39:22 You're only as connected as you WANT to be40:02 Kyle's old and needs to go to bed40:40 "Grandpa Kyle, is it really true?"41:20 Newsflash - No One Cares41:50 Should you keep that opinion?42:15 do you want to listen to old white dads complain about you?42:35 If only you would listen to us43:10  Email us in 15 years when you're 30, Apocalyptos43:40 All children have always been feral44:00 The MTVs and the Pokey-mans44:30 Feed the demo mode45:10 We love you, our pedantic listeners45:40 Kyle is the Anti-Pied-Piper for children and Tamagotchis46:30 Dev lusted after a 2-way pager47:18 Crack right down the middle47:45 Pager was constantly beeping with Facebook updates48:20 Fuck you, Abbott - Make the food, you assholes48:45 Empty baby formula store shelves49:30 Light hearted but also no baby formula and horrible dictators50:15 Kyle's conflict reveals itself in real time50:35 Imposter Syndrome51:10 Do lizard people not get Imposter Syndrome?51:35 Everyone is just fucking around in harmony, not a grand conspiracy52:12 Perpetual finding out52:25 Dev thinks politicians are dreaming about politicians53:25 Putin's on the list54:05 Give us money at devnkylesta@gmail.com54:30 Read the 2nd sentence in the article54:45 Don't be a reddit user55:05 South of the Border Especial56:21 The accent is character work56:45 We're all proud of Dev56:55 Look out for the Kyle Express Bus, Dev57:29 Witty Repartee 57:45 Professor Dev58:15 Everything has consequences58:40 Nearly perfectly preserved what now?59:27 To be scientific about it, it is not *just* the butthole59:44 Let's find out your kink, Dev1:00:08 If Super Walmart was just one giant back door1:01:00 Not the club, just the door1:01:30 I don't think paleontologists NEED a butthole to be interested1:02:10 Like a Swiss Marine Biologist...1:02:43 Hired to draw a dinosaur butthole...1:03:09 https://www.sciencealert.com/scientists-described-a-dinosaur-s-butthole-in-exquisite-detail1:03:35 An exclamation point NOT added by Kyle1:04:05 What am I reading right now?1:04:48 11 different cloacae (Kyle got that plural correct, Apocalyptos)1:05:33 Kyle is an actual child1:06:07 Completely different show than it is in 20351:06:35 2028 is the real game changer1:07:29 Spoiler Alert: This show works1:07:50 You can't make me say it....

Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse Episode 6

Episode 6 in honor of our 69th day of having a podcast.  Nice.  Dev went to Thurby, which Kyle finds out isn't the Kentucky Derby, squeezable condiments, a lively discussion on fast foods, and THIS is when it gets crazier.  All that and more on this US long weekend episode of Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse
 
00:41 Number rated show on the D&K Podcast Network
01:45 Showing off hats
02:47 Dev is angry at the betting gods
04:20 Dev doesn't have much of a strategy
04:40 I'm addicted to my birthday
05:30 Dev can't hold his tickets
06:38 It gets worse
07:30 $17 in a plastic cup
08:24 They got me inside the city park
09:41 Dev has never been summoned
10:07 They never want me
11:08 I was amateur pool but I went pro
11:50 Dev's superhero fantasy is being a normal white man
12:50 Dev's high school film class
13:25 KY vs AZ
14:10 Canada doesn't deserve to be forced to be a state
14:55 It might have been you, it certainly wasn't me
16:00 I ripped the handle off of all of it
17:08 Ring, Ring, Ring Microwave Phone
18:00 Hotel microwave, everybody gets a turn
19:45 It just appears cleaner
22:30 La Quinta, Spanish for Free Internet
23:00 I hope it has burned down by now
24:00 There's no alarm
26:45 What day is 3/11 day?
30:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8DcIxZrxH0 Kentucky Derby
31:40 Arby's Horsey Sauce vs Zaxby's Insane Sauce
32:18 That's the wrong way to use a condiment...
33:00 Squeezable Packet Condiments
34:04 Just between us few people...
35:20 Dangerous game on the receipt
35:55 Stacy, a Karen
36:46 Popeye's is better because it is a right hand turn
37:15 Kyle likes a roundabout
38:45  Does Chik-fil-a throw away all the left wings?
39:31 21 people abandon this tomfuckery
40:36 Just remember Kyle said Animal Style
41:00 They're doing it to mindfuck you
42:00 Only our listeners know my secrets
42:25 devnkylesta@gmail.com
44:05 they're going to know because I'm about to tell 'em
44:40 All white girls look alike
45:10 The Audio broke up....
45:55 Tony Tennessee
46:15 THIS is when it gets crazier
47:20 I might be missing some key things, like the plane
48:06 Country Legend Waylon Jennings comes into the picture
49:20 The origin story
50:40 James Franco get cancelled?  devnkylesta@gmail.com
51:16 Pablo Escobar's Hippo Colony
52:10 Sneak it right in like a squirtable packet condiment
 

Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse Episode 5

Dev & Kyle went on vacation! The Dev & Kyle households are back from spring vacations and we missed each other.  Come along on a wild conversation that regales us with the reproductive habits of Gremlins, Parents in the 90s now have an interesting view on the trustworthiness of the Internet, Milk Sandwiches, Doctor Strange 2, and the FRISBEE!
00:00 Show Starts00:39 I'm glad you only sound like you're dying01:25 Time doesn't heal headwounds02:22 Kyle stuck on repeat04:30 American Medical clinic differences5:30 Trigger warning:  Kyle makes noises06:10 Here's some pain to numb the pain06:50 Dev's counting08:00 Dev & Kyle have kids, have you heard?09:26 Destin is for families10:05 Dev apologizes for the entire state of Kentucky10:53 So here's what happened12:10 Sorta forty ish12:54 And that click?  Ka-chunk13:18 Dev's yanking the grays13:35 Spoiler Alert: Gremlins (1984)14:21 TECHNICALLY....15:00 This needs to be explicit15:20 Mogwai are just the larval stage of the Gremlins15:40 Like Bacne16:45 Wait, don't come at me, Disney17:00 Let's fucking go, PhD Apocalyptos17:30 It really is Theses18:25 devnkylesta@gmail.com19:21 They'd like to see it19:45 Yeehaw!20:25 Kevin, it's me!20:47 Say my name, say my name21:28 Dev's mind is blown (much like the president from the 90s)21:50 Dad, please remember you don't know anyone on the internet22:31 Hello, Fellow Children24:00 Cameras eat first, kids24:50 Did you know Disney wants your money?25:56 The Disney Gangs28:10 Briar Patch Kids30:30 She looks at me with tears on her face....31:30 Think tall thoughts34:15 Cheeseburgers in Paradise36:16 Winner Stays37:08 The moment Dev threatens children38:00 Spoiler Alert:  Doctor Strange 239:00 Spoiler Alert: Dev's bad opinions41:00 It isn't disjointed, it just jumped all over the place42:33 Wanda's got the power43:40 Access to Spare Part Kids makes Disney more enjoyable44:00 Spoilers over, back to Raiders of the Lost Ark45:30 Dev likes movies with no drama46:13 Tallahassee46:30 Totally unrealistic, Toilet paper gets raided first47:25 Milk Sandwiches47:50 Speaking of people who are going insane48:10 Joke TIME!49:00 Dev's entire knowledge of frisbees49:45 The man who invented frisbees invented the superball51:00 Near Yale?  "Oh yeah, we invented it"51:21 The Disc Pole Hole51:50 The frisbee region of France or a sparkling disk52:50 A frisbee on a roof53:25 Dev & Kyle, famous podcasters54:01 Take my right leg, cryogenics!54:50 In which Kyle skips a joke55:50 The dumbest and the coolest cyborg I ever met56:09 Episode 1000 goals57:10 Goodnight, everybody

Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse Episode 4

Welcome to Episode Quatre!  Let's just apologize in advance to the French speaking Apocalyptos.  Hopefully, you'll still consider joining us for this (slightly melancholic) episode where we discuss Once in a Lifetime events, that being lazy is not a moral failing, who won the Clinton Administration, hot sauces (and where not to put them), how to pick dinner for the rest of your life, and the upcoming launch of our Cryptocurrency!
00:00 Very first official opening with Chase's theme00:45 The Spanish get off easy01:00 Gird your loins, French listeners01:57 Kyle defends the French, Dev counts in French02:08 Sorry Paris03:10 You can't prove a negative03:40 Things are unraveling04:00 Were we just the spark on the dry powder?04:25 Hot take:  Wars suck5:00 News is hard to consume these days5:20 Once in a lifetime, every 5 years06:10 Kyle fondly remembers the presidents of his youth6:48 Blowgate was called Once in a Lifetime7:05 Dev depresses Kyle7:30 Dev tempts Disney lawyers again08:25 Everybody's got a Plus08:50 The least depressing part came 23 years later09:24 Dev will die on that hill09:40 Some nobody from nowhere10:00 Dev isn't fair10:25 Everyone needs therapy10:50 Cry in a Lambo, if you can11:00 Sponsorships open!11:30 In which Kyle's son is a con man11:55 Extremely well off like Bernie Madoff12:20 He didn't say it ran12:40 Dev's former hobby13:20 Kyle's first car13:55 HOT STOCK TIP - CDs!14:50 A new character is introduced15:10 The lazy way wins the day15:40 Lower case for the common man16:00 Let's hear it for the easy way16:15 Not a moral failing16:30 Kyle doesn't write emails twice17:35 Kyle lets Apocalyptos in on the secret18:15 No one reads their email18:35 Time saving tip19:10 Perfection is never worth it19:40 Anxiety is a bitch19:55 You can rise to the top of the heap without grammar, Mrs. Donaldson20:30 Teachers expected you to actually write a lot LESS21:10 Imagine handwriting at the office, kids21:30 Dev sets us straight22:00 "Work talk" is better than "Nuke talk"22:30 Down the rabbit hole23:20 The reality is there if you sift through the bullshit25:05 The worst kind of funhouse mirror25:45 People like this really exist26:23  That's all I'm saying26:40 The human mind is a very soft toy to play with27:15 If you question, you can be MORE sure of yourself27:50 Kyle got a BS in BS28:25 Facebook doesn't count29:15 Kyle quit being a convincer29:45 Kyle can't do a 13 percenter30:05 Dev is far more generous than Kyle30:20 If you're getting all your news from Dev & Kyledevnkylesta@gmail.com30:45 Dev has a stroke31:00 "You keep saying it and it doesn't get any better"31:26 "Oh Fetch, that's better"32:00 Kyle used to have a lot of opinions32:25 An Op-Ed about Wordle....33:00 Million bucks, not a lot these days33:20 Let's go back to Dev making up bad words33:40 Wordle is spelled Wordel in America b/c Wordle is British34:15 "Goan do me a Wurdel"34:35 Dev's opinion policy is refined in his old age35:08 "I don't have an opinion on that"35:36 Dev would get thrown out of Kyle's house at dinner time36:10 Dev will kill a grown man for pizza and wings36:35 Hanger kills relationships36:58 Kyle reveals relationship advice37:30 Dev got an app and promptly forgot he got it38:25 No way to predict this predicament38:57 That doesn't happen to children39:10 Dev is a creature of habit39:40 Introducing spice40:30 Kyle establishes dominance with his children41:05 He already knows Dad is on top41:30 Jumped the gun on blazing sauce42:20 Cholula is respectable42:48 Dave's atomic asshole43:25 The owner is the hero43:55 Normally you pay double for that kinda action, Cotton44:13 Open your third eye44:36 Dev is pro turning everyone on45:10 Baby Life Scarring46:00 The salsa was very good46:22 "Oh, I've done that"46:48 Mayo on your junk47:10 Mr Jimmy is going to squeal47:23 Jalapeno Chalmydia47:34 Habanero Clap48:00 JOKE TIME48:33 Dev's joke followup49:15 Nothing new going on in Latin49:45 Apprentice Debated50:21 FOR A LIVING!51:00 Credits!
 

Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse Episode 3

Third time's a charm! Our professionalism grows leaps and bounds with a special surprise in the first five minutes. Stick with us after the upgrade as we discuss raw casserole & murder, mental illnesses, physical illnesses, head transplants for frozen people, video call outfits, THE DEATH HARVEST and MORE!
 
 
00:00 It just starts
00:30 Kyle is a lying sack of shit
00:58 Garage Beer
01:20 Synthetic Toxic Masculinity
02:00 Chase Noseworthy on Youtube
02:15 Chase and Kyle got Dev a present
02:36 The debut
03:13 Wanna hear it again?
03:44 Dev's misunderstanding of how a dictionary works
04:17 We're too legit to quit
04:45 There's MORE?
05:29 FINALLY
05:39 The creative process
06:05 Just make it like, um, just be done
06:31 The bread
06:41 Kyle has a negroni
06:54 Low hanging fruit
07:10 Dev was wounded
07:24 Differences between Dev & Kyle emerge
07:37 Probably not how recovery works
07:52 Tennis is too liberal
08:30 Basketball rackets
09:07 How Kyle avoided divorce this week
09:57 And Kyle walked away
10:10 Dev thinks Kyle ever has pre-meditation
10:27 Nobody wants to get murdered over a casserole
10:46 Raw casserole & Murder
11:03 We're on a casser-ROLL
11:15 Dev demonstrates lack of cheese knowledge
11:36 It is pretty gouda
11:58 Hate listening to start the Apocalypse
devnkylesta@gmail.com
12:23 Improvements welcome
12:33 Dev out here promising dollars
12:57 Chase's contributions are priceless
13:12 A Chase Taster
13:32 Anger & Angst
13:36 JNCO Jeans
13:58 Kyle, the master of metric
14:12  See?  He is
14:42 to hundredths of an inch precision
15:22 Mrs. Kyle does not believe in waiting
16:00 Late family or on time family?
16:18 Dev's family was never early
16:30 Dev hates being early, he can't stop himself
16:54 Establish dominance in their office
17:24 Childhood rebellion against being late
18:00 In the before times
18:20 Normal party time is 15 minutes late
18:40 Unacceptable
19:03 You can't vacuum a stranger's house
19:40 Dev's nausea can't be explained
20:00 Dev's messed up brain is enjoyable
20:15 Anxiety sounds like it sucks
20:38 No hate mail please
20:46 ATTN: Kyle HATE MAIL
devnkylesta@gmail.com
21:11 Mental illness isn't fake but is faked
21:33 Faking a mental illness is a illness
21:48 Some of you do suck
21:55 What makes Dev's junk hurt
22:05 The point is the Kids have always sucked
devnkylesta@gmail.com
22:30 Dancing sickness in the 1500s
22:50 This is actually the original plot to Footloose
23:08 The Human mind is a strange thing
23:20 Children have been stupid for at least 500 years
23:25 Looking at you, Polio
23:50 Kyle is fascinated by weird economics
24:10 No socks while driving
24:25 Cold when we're recording
24:40 Dev defines shorts weather
24:58 Weather, the greatest topic
25:20 Sunshine goes in asses
25:45 Dev's Rock impression
25:50 Perhaps the greatest callback segue
26:15 100% truth disclaimer
26:30 Bet you wish you had this idea
27:30 Digiornos, we're open to sponsorship
28:10 An angel with food...
28:15 Peggy's casserole
28:30 Dev is a G-man, confirmed
29:00 Dev
30:40 Kyle promises to Google something someday
30:50  Ice T rolls left or right?
devnkylesta@gmail.com
31:20 Kyle fucks it up and cuts it out
31:40 A rare compliment from Kyle
31:55 Kyle leaves Dev out to flounder
32:10 Consent is important
32:45 Trigger warning:  Dark Joke
33:10 The terrible joke is over
33:27 Kyle is a strong proponent of Kyle
33:50 Arizona doesn't do Daylight Savings Time
34:25 Boy, Kyle was a dumb kid
35:05 Daylight Santa gives daylight to good kids
35:30 Wait what?
35:45 Kyle likes all comedy
35:55 Kyle doesn't have time for that shit
36:30 Hulu gets the dick jokes
36:45 Disney doesn't do segregation
37:20 Walt's dead
37:40 Great but GreatEST?
38:00 Because of the segregation
38:20 We're banned
38:40 Head transplants
38:10 Crackpot Italian doctor is a crackpot
39:40 Arizona specializes in Air conditioning
40:00 Rich but not super rich
40:35 Not before they fixed cancer *at a minimum*
41:10 You're gonna fucking hope it is the flu
41:37 The Aristocrats!
42:00 Video calls are slightly annoying
42:20 No one wears denim in the movies in 2022
42:40 The only outfit dorkier than a silver jumpsuit
43:00 Kyle is not dressed to impress Dev
43:15 Free the tootsies
43:30 Dual Foot???
45:00 Dev & Dua Lipa, levitating
45:20 Dev has the weird super powers
45:40 Dev is King of the Morlocks
46:05 That's too slippery
46:19 JOKE TIME!
49:55 Brett Favre freaky toes
devnkylesta@gmail.com
50:47 Superb Owl has never included an Owl Mascot ever
51:06 Rain City Bitch Pigeons
51:20 Dev loves American Football
51:55 American football is rugby for girls
52:14 Kyle did research
53:30 Do you know what Teddy needed to fix?
54:05 One Eight!
54:19 Followed by the Death Harvest
56:01 Good Lord!
57:48 Kyle tells Dev something Dev doesn't know about football
58:15 Pop Warner was a real guy
59:13 God Damnit, Pop!
59:40 They fucking know
01:00:44 If Kyle keeps repeating it, it might be true some day
01:01:34 Dev's unhealthy lifestyle is impressive
01:02:23 Kyle invents future law specialties
01:03:37 Frozen head dead giveaways
01:03:53 Smooooooooth
01:04:30 Nipplenecks
01:05:00 Play us out, Chase

Dev & Kyle Start the Apocalypse Episode 2

We're not cancelled!  Join Dev & Kyle as this finally becomes a relationship and not a one night stand.  Tonight's fare includes not one but TWO pieces of fan mail, Dev finds out what generation he's in, we get REAL nostalgic for horrible noises, Tim Curry's discography, the fact that Kyle hates shoes AND MORE!
 
2:00 We got fan mail from Bobdevnkylesta@gmail.com3:00 2nd piece of mail may not be fan mail, but we're not gonna read it3:45 Covid is in the house5:15 Covid isn't fake, quit us7:00 Amanda is a fan, it is declared7:30 We did not name Home Alone 8:00 How did we name the show?8:45 Dev got top billing10:15 Dev breaks Kyle's brain10:45 Reaction videos are an art form rarely done well13:15 Oregon Trail generation represent13:45 Hoagies and Grinders14:45 Kyle's parents taught him how to use a phone  book15:30 No wonder Dev & Kyle get along16:15 A phone line IN YOUR ROOM!?!17:00 a story in which papa Dev seems oblivious18:00 Dial-up sound:  the most beautiful screech18:30 Getting on and getting off20:00 Kyle would use his computer for hours without being online but FOR WHAT???21:00 Video games didn't need you to be online21:25 Tim Curry's best roles of all time22:15 Tim Curry's discography22:45 What will Dev's wiki entry say?23:15 Dev's disinformation campaign about Kyle23:30 Kyle is the Kanye of this podcast25:00 Lil Nas X makes the show26:10 Montero is a banger, but not for kids26:36 Kyle won't defend Dev's fathering26:45 KidzBops from the Other Side27:55 Hidden gems in the lyrics28:55 KidzBopWop29:10 Stay hydrated, Kids29:52 Its got what plants crave32:00 The dark reminder33:50 A discussion on sock sales36:44 A scientific poll regarding sock usagedevnkylesta@gmail.com37:30 Kyle would never wear shoes again40:00 Soles are what connects us to the Earth40:45 Dev's version of heaven is the shoed vs the unshod41:15 Kyle's version of heaven is the TSA41:30 Segues are Kyle's favorite hobby41:45 Skin or no skin?42:09 some words are fun to say42:30 Unblemished?42:48 Some questions have answers43:15 My evil lion uncle has a first name44:00 According to native Swahili speakers on the internet44:45 Benefit of the doubt45:02 The hardest question Kyle has ever asked Dev45:50 Some questions are unanswerable46:22 Oops, shit, kid47:00 Kyle finally tells a bad joke47:45 Kyle's got a hot take on Aladdindevnkylesta@gmail.com48:20 Robin Williams is a better genie49:30 Kyle forgets about 3-4 Disney movies for boys50:00 Disney princesses, not the greatest role models50:30 Dev explains it, chasing the man is a bad plot50:50 Brave is the first non-misogynist Disney movie52:16 Best song in the live action Aladdin is the Jasmine52:55 Will Smith is fine.  He's weird.  He's Tom Cruise Crazydevnkylesta@gmail.com53:30 Bat shit crazy, makes good movies53:45 Kyle has never seen Tropic Thunder54:00 Tropic Thunder is a teensy bit problematic54:36 Kyle makes a promise for a future episode55:25 Punching up as they say55:45 RDJ takes down method actors56:00 the terrible Joke Time Drop56:30 This joke takes place in a bar58:17 Positive reinforcement58:45 BONUS JOKE!59:15 Comments on Fast Food chains60:00 Speaking of genitalia, Dev1:00:35 What I doo doo1:01:30 Dev, Man of Culture1:02:00 Roman people were degeneratesdevnkylesta@gmail.com1:03:00 First Yelp Reviews, a poo review1:03:30 When everyone has a dress, you've got a portable stall door1:04:25 Spread Eagle is optional1:05:25 Rome, New York must be double fucked1:06:00 Plumbing fansdevnkylesta@gmail.com1:06:40  CONSTANT EXPLOSIONS1:07:25 The sewer story to end all stories1:08:00 Aelian, Roman author, tells us of a foreigner who comes to Puteoli1:08:30 Spoiler alert: They're not great1:08:50 This has to be a joke, right?1:09:25 Before germs were invented1:10:00 Dev questions the ...  LOGISTICS? of this situation.  That's Dev's first question???1:10:47 these jokes write themselves folks1:11:00 Clean ass?  No.  Unexploded ass?  Good day1:12:20 The 2nd person to try something isn't crazy1:12:45 Theater of the Mind1:13:00 Kyle teaches us about the coffee plant1:13:30 We find the thing that grosses out Dev1:14:00 This coffee is fucking delicious1:14:48 Number 21:15:00 Human see, Human do1:15:40 The third option is the practical joke1:16:00 Roasted, got 'em!1:16:45 Sorry Matt Damon1:17:20 The exact opposite of the laws of physics

Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse Episode 1

The first episode!  Dev & Kyle figure out where the record button is and introduce themselves to each other.  Kyle's 2nd favorite joke, moms are saints, True Crime vs Train wrecks, Dev won fish, a discussion on movies about horrible people, and more!
 
0:00 There's no theme song0:20  The very first Dad joke of many1:00 The captive audience for dad jokes2:16 Plymouth rock stories from the old man3:40 Kyle can't wait for the power4:16 In which we declare our American identity6:18 The first mention of the Apocalypse6:41:  Real Talk for Dads:  The Road by Cormac McCarthy8:00 Zip-tie hugs8:30 The road spoiler alert9:15 dads start crying more after they have kids10:13 Spoiler Alert Over10:15  We gained so much respect for our wives during pregnancy12:00 1 crying child is worth 2 not crying children13:20  age gaps of your children15:00 Gondor!15:25 Dev & Kyle are perfect fathers who remind you of Buddha in their parenting styles17:00 Mrs. Dev sees the error of her ways17:41 A discussion about serial killer proclivities18:37 True Crime vs train wrecks19:11 Mrs. Kyle loves the true crime20:00 Mrs. Kyle is actually not in a Mexican cartel21:00 Dev is huge in a lot of places21:23 A story of not playing university basketball22:20 Things Kyle should have known23:00 The best prize is a story23:55 Kyle is not a child, but he does have the worst segues24:26 Evidence of bone cancer in a dinosaur25:37 ABC's Dinosaurs25:58 Chris Pratt27:30 Keanu is the New Age Keanu, actually28:03 The very first defense of the children, many more to come28:32 The Kids of Today o'clock28:47 a stunning lack of preparation29:00 devnkylesta@gmail.com29:42 that's how words work30:00 see ya 50% of the audience30:34 we set the bar really low31:20 where we set the depravity level31:54 The duality of fatherhood32:28 doesn't even need to cool off first32:51  Kyle is no better than Bear Grylls33:20 Discovery+ wooing begins33:50 Dr. Oakley, Yukon Vet34:36 Tumor on a goldfish34:51 Dev reboots Kyle35:20 Please forget the shock for your goldfish36:30 Acquisition of goldfish that will never die37:00 Dev gets tricked into being a fish daddy38:04 Dev got them all the way to 5-6 inches38:31 Dev loved his fish and he murdered them39:00 that fish is faking it39:38 Betta Bling39:48 Food Chainz, the joke that made us hire an audio engineer40:30 Kyle shares a secret and creates a promise for episode 10041:45 a very high brow conversation42:30 Get right or get out42:48 Tips for saving time with mental health professionals43:36 Jokes on first dates44:02 17 isn't late, it is normal44:23 Manor Mood, activate45:05 She could be gone any day now45:40 a discussion of what makes an adult46:37 24 year olds are children47:40 Sidekicks are the best48:35 HIPAA violations & lawyers49:20 We're selling out in episode 149:55 In which Kyle apologizes for the first time50:38 The cynicism is used to solve crimesLink to subscribe to the podcast52:10 Coke doesn't remove blood from the interstate53:03 Jackson Porkchop53:13 Comedy advice54:25 Joke repair54:45 You're a bad person for not laughing56:15 Get yourself some Myrrh57:00 Kyle has strong opinions about Home Alone58:00 Kyle doesn't have background TV58:31 Never have I ever59:25 Christmas Story is a good movie59:40 We have rules around here1:00:10  Every single adult who appears on-screen and speaks in Home Alone is objectively a bad person1:01:00  the 90s were wild1:01:45  The number 1 thing to know is that Kyle is right1:04:15 Dev defends the old man1:04:33 Kyle stands behind the assertion about the old man, he can't get over himself1:06:33 Life is like a bell curve1:07:33 Dev apologizes for the first timedevnkylesta@gmail.com1:07:54 Kyle doesn't care1:08:30 The old man is about to shit himself so he can be forgiven1:10:42 Kentucky gets no respect1:11:21 Kyle will never google it1:11:39 M&Ms are colorist1:11:49  Van Halen means more browns1:14:00 McDonald's Hot Coffee Lady was not a moron1:14:40 It is 85C, listeners1:15:32  Elderly jingly bits1:16:00 Dev proposes the Yeti origin story1:17:00 Dev proposes the coffee debate1:18:00 Roadmap for the episode 2