Dev & Kyle Start The Apocalypse Episode 1

The first episode!  Dev & Kyle figure out where the record button is and introduce themselves to each other.  Kyle's 2nd favorite joke, moms are saints, True Crime vs Train wrecks, Dev won fish, a discussion on movies about horrible people, and more!

 

0:00 There's no theme song
0:20  The very first Dad joke of many
1:00 The captive audience for dad jokes
2:16 Plymouth rock stories from the old man
3:40 Kyle can't wait for the power
4:16 In which we declare our American identity
6:18 The first mention of the Apocalypse
6:41:  Real Talk for Dads:  The Road by Cormac McCarthy
8:00 Zip-tie hugs
8:30 The road spoiler alert
9:15 dads start crying more after they have kids
10:13 Spoiler Alert Over
10:15  We gained so much respect for our wives during pregnancy
12:00 1 crying child is worth 2 not crying children
13:20  age gaps of your children
15:00 Gondor!
15:25 Dev & Kyle are perfect fathers who remind you of Buddha in their parenting styles
17:00 Mrs. Dev sees the error of her ways
17:41 A discussion about serial killer proclivities
18:37 True Crime vs train wrecks
19:11 Mrs. Kyle loves the true crime
20:00 Mrs. Kyle is actually not in a Mexican cartel
21:00 Dev is huge in a lot of places
21:23 A story of not playing university basketball
22:20 Things Kyle should have known
23:00 The best prize is a story
23:55 Kyle is not a child, but he does have the worst segues
24:26 Evidence of bone cancer in a dinosaur
25:37 ABC's Dinosaurs
25:58 Chris Pratt
27:30 Keanu is the New Age Keanu, actually
28:03 The very first defense of the children, many more to come
28:32 The Kids of Today o'clock
28:47 a stunning lack of preparation
29:00 devnkylesta@gmail.com
29:42 that's how words work
30:00 see ya 50% of the audience
30:34 we set the bar really low
31:20 where we set the depravity level
31:54 The duality of fatherhood
32:28 doesn't even need to cool off first
32:51  Kyle is no better than Bear Grylls
33:20 Discovery+ wooing begins
33:50 Dr. Oakley, Yukon Vet
34:36 Tumor on a goldfish
34:51 Dev reboots Kyle
35:20 Please forget the shock for your goldfish
36:30 Acquisition of goldfish that will never die
37:00 Dev gets tricked into being a fish daddy
38:04 Dev got them all the way to 5-6 inches
38:31 Dev loved his fish and he murdered them
39:00 that fish is faking it
39:38 Betta Bling
39:48 Food Chainz, the joke that made us hire an audio engineer
40:30 Kyle shares a secret and creates a promise for episode 100
41:45 a very high brow conversation
42:30 Get right or get out
42:48 Tips for saving time with mental health professionals
43:36 Jokes on first dates
44:02 17 isn't late, it is normal
44:23 Manor Mood, activate
45:05 She could be gone any day now
45:40 a discussion of what makes an adult
46:37 24 year olds are children
47:40 Sidekicks are the best
48:35 HIPAA violations & lawyers
49:20 We're selling out in episode 1
49:55 In which Kyle apologizes for the first time
50:38 The cynicism is used to solve crimes
Link to subscribe to the podcast
52:10 Coke doesn't remove blood from the interstate
53:03 Jackson Porkchop
53:13 Comedy advice
54:25 Joke repair
54:45 You're a bad person for not laughing
56:15 Get yourself some Myrrh
57:00 Kyle has strong opinions about Home Alone
58:00 Kyle doesn't have background TV
58:31 Never have I ever
59:25 Christmas Story is a good movie
59:40 We have rules around here
1:00:10  Every single adult who appears on-screen and speaks in Home Alone is objectively a bad person
1:01:00  the 90s were wild
1:01:45  The number 1 thing to know is that Kyle is right
1:04:15 Dev defends the old man
1:04:33 Kyle stands behind the assertion about the old man, he can't get over himself
1:06:33 Life is like a bell curve
1:07:33 Dev apologizes for the first time
devnkylesta@gmail.com
1:07:54 Kyle doesn't care
1:08:30 The old man is about to shit himself so he can be forgiven
1:10:42 Kentucky gets no respect
1:11:21 Kyle will never google it
1:11:39 M&Ms are colorist
1:11:49  Van Halen means more browns
1:14:00 McDonald's Hot Coffee Lady was not a moron
1:14:40 It is 85C, listeners
1:15:32  Elderly jingly bits
1:16:00 Dev proposes the Yeti origin story
1:17:00 Dev proposes the coffee debate
1:18:00 Roadmap for the episode 2